Wednesday, January 30, 2008
"Running Man"
Yesterday evening I received the following email from my brother Stephen:
He's decided to train for the National Capital Marathon along with his wife Tara. So, if all goes well there'll be 4 of us - Steve, Tara, Jill and me - at the start line on May 25th.
Well mark the day....I started my training tonight.....3.5 km in 24 mins.....it was tough footing...but I got er done. I just came back and I am still gasping for breath haha.
He's decided to train for the National Capital Marathon along with his wife Tara. So, if all goes well there'll be 4 of us - Steve, Tara, Jill and me - at the start line on May 25th.
# posted by FreddyBeachPete @ 4:39 PM 
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Advice to young cousins:
I hope you are wise enough not to get caught up in this mindless pursuit called running. All civilized men throughout history have had the good sense to avoid the urge to run around in short pants and sneakers. The public display of gonads flopping about like codfish gasping for air on the deck of a side trawler is an unseemly sight.
Have you ever heard of Mozart or Beethoven running along the canals? Did you ever see a picture of Sigmund Freud in shorts? Does the word jogger come to mind when you think of Aristotle, Newton or Einstein? Of course not. These great intellectuals had important things to do - music and books to write, deep theories to espouse. If someone asks you to join them on the road, just tell them you appreciate the offer, but you prefer to live to old age with both knees and spine intact.
It may interest you to know that the first marathon runner, a messenger who ran from Marathon to Athens with news of an Athenian victory over the invading Persian army, fell dead on arrival at his destination. For centuries after that, jogging was banned for all two- and four-legged creatures. Mammals of all kinds on every continent continue to abide by the ban, except human beings. You will see cheetahs, gazelles and squirrels running about, yes, but always in a sprint. Short bursts of activity are always better for developing breath and endurance. A quick dash up the stairs at least twice a day will keep you in tip-top shape.
Running is hard on the body. Everyone knows that it stresses the knees and ankles and is a major cause of brain jellification. Medical research has also discovered the debilitating effects of jogging on the intestines. You have probably noticed how runners frequently hold their sides in pain, or bend over double at the end of a race. That’s because their intestines, after hours of jostling about in the abdomen, end up in a Gordian knot. Only the kangaroo is evolutionarily adapted to frequent hopping. The pouch allows the kangaroo access to his internal organs. When the intestines are in a tangle from the up and down motion of hopping, they can reach in the pouch with their paws to unravel the knots. They typically do so about every three days. At other times, they carry a lunch in the pouch.
Heed my words,
Uncle Mike.
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I hope you are wise enough not to get caught up in this mindless pursuit called running. All civilized men throughout history have had the good sense to avoid the urge to run around in short pants and sneakers. The public display of gonads flopping about like codfish gasping for air on the deck of a side trawler is an unseemly sight.
Have you ever heard of Mozart or Beethoven running along the canals? Did you ever see a picture of Sigmund Freud in shorts? Does the word jogger come to mind when you think of Aristotle, Newton or Einstein? Of course not. These great intellectuals had important things to do - music and books to write, deep theories to espouse. If someone asks you to join them on the road, just tell them you appreciate the offer, but you prefer to live to old age with both knees and spine intact.
It may interest you to know that the first marathon runner, a messenger who ran from Marathon to Athens with news of an Athenian victory over the invading Persian army, fell dead on arrival at his destination. For centuries after that, jogging was banned for all two- and four-legged creatures. Mammals of all kinds on every continent continue to abide by the ban, except human beings. You will see cheetahs, gazelles and squirrels running about, yes, but always in a sprint. Short bursts of activity are always better for developing breath and endurance. A quick dash up the stairs at least twice a day will keep you in tip-top shape.
Running is hard on the body. Everyone knows that it stresses the knees and ankles and is a major cause of brain jellification. Medical research has also discovered the debilitating effects of jogging on the intestines. You have probably noticed how runners frequently hold their sides in pain, or bend over double at the end of a race. That’s because their intestines, after hours of jostling about in the abdomen, end up in a Gordian knot. Only the kangaroo is evolutionarily adapted to frequent hopping. The pouch allows the kangaroo access to his internal organs. When the intestines are in a tangle from the up and down motion of hopping, they can reach in the pouch with their paws to unravel the knots. They typically do so about every three days. At other times, they carry a lunch in the pouch.
Heed my words,
Uncle Mike.
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